My weapons in the warfare of marriage (If that day ever comes….)

If you’ve been following my blogs you would have known two thingsabout me, I am a commitment-phob and I am currently in a relationship.Those of you reading this for the first time will laugh out loud andalthough funny at first. I am seriously struggling with the fact thatI love someone and I need to do ME. However because I am in love, I amtaking baby steps to make this one work. Recently I decided to do someresearch to see how much support one can get without having to rely onmummy and daddy when things go wrong in a marriage. In my quest, Istumbled upon this website or rather another blog that I think wouldcome in handy in case I need to keep the flame going in a union thatdooms you to one partner FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

(And if you wondering, yes my boyfriend has been talking aboutmarriage and yes I am freaked out!)

Simply named http://strengtheningmarriage.com/ it gives you practicalsolutions to intimate problems in a marriage that you would normallybe afraid to talk about. The website has articles and videos that takeyou through the nitty gritty issues that we Asians shy from. Theseissues however are crucial to a successful marriage and I for one, amnot ashamed to admit that probably 20 years into a relationship withMr. Right, might make you look at him as Mr Write-Off. So yes, if itmeans I have to intellectualize something that came naturally before,so be it.

The next tool I came across was a book from John Gottman titled TheSeven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from theCountry's Foremost Relationship Expert. If you ask me, the title isway too long for it to be memorable, but it’s a great book. In thisNew York Times bestseller, the author shatters the common myth ofcommunication being the key to a healthy marriage. Thank goodness,someone had the common sense to come up with this conclusion. Nomatter how much we would like to believe it, sometimes talking tothings out only makes matters worst. So the gist of it is to find asolution that is workable for

My third and final tool is observation, I have the privilege of havinga lot of married friends and although I might not want to confide inthem all the time… I do think observing the dynamics of therelationship between man and wife and trying to apply some positivebehaivours like being your partner’s biggest cheerleaders or justbeing a listening ear without trying to fix the problem goes a longway.
3 tools for a lifetime of challenges, what do you think? Do I have a chance?

Eat Pray Love

In 2007 my close friend Ruby gave me a book as a going away present. (She was the one going away, mind you and I got a present, don't you love my friends!) The title of the book was Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's story about one woman's self-discovery. She recently got a divorce and decided that she wanted to find herself again...she travels the world picking the brains of the people she meets and tries to open herself up to new and very different experiences. Her travels take her to 3 places, Italy, India and Indonesia. I can't say that it was the best book that I have read but I took something away from it like I do most books.

Sometime last year, I heard that they were planning to make a movie from the book and Julia Roberts was to star in it. Now the movie is out in the US and it has all these women talking about the meaning of it. I didn't realise what a great marketing gimmick this would be cause when you get a word of mouth publicity about a movie that is meant to be appeal to more intellectual, you really don't need much else before people start flocking into what i would guess to be a less than mediocre film.





The trailer for the movie : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZzmqHJ0gPU

Maybe it would mean more to Americans since a lot of them don't travel outside of their own borders and the mystical Asian ways are all very new to them but looking at it from an Asian perspective and having done my fair share of travels and diary entries.... What I want to know is, what's the big deal?

What a load of....

For fun, I like reading the horoscope section in the newspaper and when you read enough of them, you find a way to relate your life to what is being said, I think I am making it quite obvious here that I am buying into this whole prediction by planets nonsense. I have to say though there are varying degrees, we are all superstitious when it comes to life and love. I remember my mum telling me that if you finished the plate that you would remain a spinster... must have been the curse of the FOOD GOD.... I have also heard such silliness like you should never get married on Friday the 13th or your life will be doomed to misery. But the best one of all was to think of five or six names of boys or girls you might marry, As you twist the stem of an apple, recite the names until the stem comes off. You will marry the person whose name you were saying when the stem fell off. I knew for a fact that I truly did not believe in superstition when I heard this:

Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe;
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving;
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
is fair and wise, good and gay.

I am born on a Tuesday and if you know me, I am far from graceful unless they mean that there is a little woman by the name of Grace living inside of me and somehow I imagine her getting bigger by the day (think I just scared myself). Although, I did admit that there are varying degrees of superstitions so although I think that a lot of the superstitions are a load of crock... I have superstitions of my own.

When it comes to my own pantangs, well let's say I never go out with people who are overly-suspicious! :)

My baby!!

My Pancho and my cousin, Kristin

So my Pancho (dog) got really sick for the first time, I had to admit him at the animal medical centre, in Jalan Tun Razak..man it was the worst scare ever. He started purging then there was blood in his poo and soon enough it was just blood. I have never been so scared in my life....after rushing him to the animal hospital in the wee hours of the night, I found out that I had to leave him there...that was the hardest thing...he looked so scared and sick... and I never knew how much I loved my dog till that very moment. Turns out he had a bacteria infection in his intestines. He is back home now and recovering, the doctor said that it was something he ingested... so now when we are out on walks I am super paranoid, like those really irritating, over-bearing parents... I hope I don't turn out to be one. But for right now, I am just too relieved that my dog is ok and on the way to recovering. What a scare!

Bungee..eee.eee!

I think I have mentioned this a million times, but I can't say it enough, I am afraid of heights. Every time I have to climb a ladder to some dusting, I fear for my life. (I know, I am a drama queen). Anyway.... the Red FM Breakfast Show decided that it would be fun for all the announcers to bungee jump and even surprised Hazim(our weekend jock) that he would have to jump at the last minute... so we get to Sunway Lagoon and my heart is beating so hard it feels like its gonna fly out of my chest. All our lovely listeners arrive shortly to support us and we're off. Next thing I know we're on the bridge being weighed in like animals just before the slaughter. I was the meatiest so if we were being slaughtered I would be prime-cut...but I digress.

We got to see Richard from Bungy Malaysia again, the first time I met him was the Red FM Breakfast Birthday Bash. He was so bubbly and great to be around that it was hard to forget him. Meeting him again cheered me up a little but it was a temporary distraction...the nerves started to set again and I can distinctively remember saying that I did want to be one of the last to jump (but I was). Soon enough it was my turn and low and behold, I am standing at the edge of the platform ready to jump. 5,4,3,2,1...Bungeeeee!!!

What a rush! It was one of the most free-ing experience ever. I think its funny I use the term free-ing cause my love-handles were apparently freed as well.

Now I can look back and laugh at the whole experience and I am really glad the morning guys made us do it. Cause I don't think I would have had the cahoonas to have done it myself. So thanks guys! I owe ya and thanks Bungy Malaysia...one fear down, a million more to overcome and you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to blog about it

The money bungee shot! (Thanks Dalbir)

Now what?

So you know I am dating someone and he is a darling. I can't believe I have someone this kind, who loves me this much and for the life of me, I don't know what I did to deserve this.

That being said, the sad fact is that he can't say the same thing. I have no time for him and between family commitments, work, my girls, my dog and the million other things that I need to juggle...I just can't seem to find the time to truly show him how much I care. So this blog entry is a cry for help! How do you juggle it all? What should I do? I don't want him to think that he is second-fiddle to everyone and everything else. But at the same time I don't want to neglect my responsibilities to my loved ones. What am I to do?

Femme City 2010

So I got to hang out in KLCC for the first ever Femme City exhibition for women, organised by The Star. YB Dato' Senator Sharizat Abdul Jalil, one of our most graceful and poised ministers, I was so proud to be apart of such a festive and momentous occasion. The fashion shows, talks and promotions were truly fantastic. My hats to the organisers, the Dress A'Flair, a fashion show by local designers at the exhibition was the peak to a historical event. I got to wear an evening dress by one of my favourite local designers Eric Choong. I felt like Carey Bradshaw but brown :). It was definitely a highlight for me and I was truly happy to be there.

Photos of the festivities: http://web.red.fm/Archives/Archives/Pages/Femme_City_%40_KLCC.html