I'm Lovin It

The gang at the Potluck

I never quit laughing when I talk to these guys

Being our crazy selves

It's hard not to love this team

So we had a potluck for Raya today, everyone got in the spirit. There was lemang, ketupat, lemang, serunding, rendang, kurma, satay and the list goes on and on. More importantly, two radio stations came together to share a meal (Red & Capital).  As I sat back to observe everyone I realised what an amazing place I work in. I am surrounded by extroverts who make any place the most entertaining in the world. We had such a great time.

I have to admit I haven't so much carbs in one seating before and now as I sit here writing this post I am suffering to keep my eyes open despite having a strong cup of coffee.... can anyone say Carb Comma!!

But I digress, the reason for this post is to inform you that you can look forward to something very exciting on Red FM tomorrow. You need to tune in because they will debuting song that is bound to make you smile... What is it?... Well, you need tune in for that, the big reveal happens on air.

It's gonna be a Friday Frenzy on Red and I can't wait

A New Outlook

So I have become really bad at being consistent with my blog. I think its because I feel I have no real wisdom to contribute...

See here is the weird thing, I love writing... or at least I used to. I used to think I knew everything so I thought I would grace the world with my wisdom. But now that I know better, I have realised I know nothing. My world view has changed considerably, I am finally seeing the world around me for what it is.

When people told me that wisdom comes with age, I thought I had defied the odds because at a young age I, Pauline Nisha Sundrum knew it all. Now that I am older, I realised that I was no different from every other foolish youngster who didn't know any better. I used to be so sure that I knew everything and no one understood it because they were too simple and selfish to see it my way but little did I know that I was the selfish one. I couldn't even see past myself to learn all the wonderful things that surrounded me.

From my previous posts I think it was quite clear that I was on a journey of self-discovery. Now that I am comfortable in my skin, its no longer a journey but its a ride that I am enjoying, every minute of it....

Now, every time I tweet, post something on facebook or even blog I feel it should be something significant. If not why would I bother wasting someone's time reading utter rubbish....

So here is my 5 cents worth for today, if you are at a place where you feel that no one knows you or that you are misunderstood. You are not. You simply need a change in focus from yourself to someone else and you will soon realise that you don't have it all that rough.

Hooked

Being an avid blogger, I think I read blogs more than I blog myself

Check it out: http://www.loyarburok.com

On The Outside Looking In

It dawned on me recently that I am way too self-focused for my own good. Everything that I have done leading up to this moment has been a constant struggle to improve my own life. But I have decided to stop focusing on me and have decided to look at what I can do to improve the world around me.

It started out with music and just singing at church, making music to feed my soul and to give me fuel to spread some joy. But now we are taking music to a new level, we're taking it to an orphanage in Rawang.

I am really excited about it. We are still recruiting new members to come and hang with these children... not only to play music but also just to be there and show them that someone cares to take time out of their day to spend some time with them... so if you are interested, you can always tell me cause there is space but we are all set and excited to go over and make a difference.

We don't know what to expect but there in lies the adventure. Will keep you updated on what happens, but I have to say I am really looking forward to the ride :)

32

Looking back at my life this year, all I can do is smile. I am happy.

I am proud of who I have become. I am excited at the things I am about to do.

I am about to turn 32, who would have thought that one day Nisha would be all grown up.

On a completely random note, check out http://franoramaworld.wordpress.com/

Love this lady!!

A Year End Review & Hope for the New Year

Okay so I suck at regular posts but I'd like to think that every time that I blog I truly feel something profound. Let's face it, it is hard to be profound everyday. I would like to think that I am constantly looking for new things to inspire and teach me but after a while you have heard it all. I almost never get excited about new information anymore. But I digress, today's post is not another rant about the deeper meaning of life but rather a summary of the one that I have lead.

The year is drawing to an end and I have found myself thinking long and hard about what I want. This is mainly because of my experiences, that I would like to think have thought me well.

Although it has caused me a lot of trouble and heart ache, the one thing that I am very proud of, is that I have always followed my heart and not my head. That being said, I didn't do it right. I totally disregarded myself in the process and it has lead me to the brink of insanity....

Coming back from that I can tell you that the experiences were absolutely necessary. I am stubborn but life has definitely cured that. The thing about following your heart, is that it takes courage and whether we know it or not, courage my friend is hard to come by.

Although I have loved people with all my heart, my greatest lesson about love is that you must be able to love yourself. No one needs defective love. If you don't love yourself, YOU ARE DEFECTIVE. That is the hard and awful truth. If you think you can find love in fairytale romances, you are wrong. If you think you can find love in people, again you would be wrong. If you want to know love and I am talking about the unconditional kind... you can't even find it in a dog. But you can look deep within and that's where you will find it.

For me, that was a lesson that took years to learn. I had no self worth. To be honest, I don't know whether I truly have a lot of self worth now but at least its there. So how do you find it, if you simply don't have the tools to do it yourself?

Talk to a role model and THINK BIG.

Someone very wise once told me that you could be a walking God if you think big enough. Just think if you could posses God's love, what kind of an effect you could have on this world? What kind of legacy you could leave behind? Even if you didn't believe in God, just the theory of God's love is enough to entice anyone.

I understand now why I am the way that I am. I had a lot of negativity surrounding my life that contributed to my low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

That is not an excuse but a fact.

I am not saying that those experiences define me but it explains my shortcomings. The best way to improve is to identify your weaknesses and to know your triggers. I would love to tell you that you can just remove those triggers and it's all gone. But sometimes, it's not that easy. You can't remove all the negatives in your life. But you can find ways to cope with it. Get welcomed distractions to help you or someone you really care about to help. That's how I do it.

I have also learnt that its okay if you are not the life of the party, sometimes it is more meaningful to share a laugh with just one person than the entire room. Be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Before you know it, everyone around you is comfortable too. It is rare and refreshing to meet someone sincere, be that person :)

Life is not a competition, it is an adventure. If you are able to talk about a long and hard fall in your attempt at life, it doesn't mean you have failed. It just means you were brave enough to take a huge leap that lead you somewhere else, somewhere unexpected. Thank God for the unexpected, a surprise party is special for a reason ;)

Happy New Year everyone... Here is to a better year because you made it better.

Instead of Stewing in the Negative REACH for the Postive

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes" -Mahatma Gandhi

Lately I hardly watch TV... Even if I am sitting in front of TV my mind is switched off or wandering somewhere else. I am starting to worry about myself, seems like hardly anything holds my attention anymore. I have been on an amazing journey where my senses and thoughts have been overwhelmed and the entire knowledge of my existence has been challenged. I live by new rules and seek knowledge beyond the understanding of most. So after going through all that, everything else seems trivial, boring and mundane.

But on Sunday I came home after a long day of visiting friends and family and one TV show caught my attention. It was Oprah's last show. I had some friends who said that I should watch it but I never did. To be honest, I thought that Oprah came off as a bit preachy. But this show was a wow moment for me. (or by Oprah standards would have constituted as an AHA! moment) She said something that resounded in my soul, she mentioned that through her 25 years of doing the show she had seen a general theme that ran through people. They felt that they weren't enough, they didn't feel that they were good enough for the blessings that they have received. They don't feel like they deserve all the good things that came their way. She said that most people were self-defeating.

This has been especially true in my life. Let me tell you about my life right now, I am in a job that I love. I am with the man that I love and I surround myself with the people that I love. I have the best girlfriends in the world that literally make me laugh out loud. Most of the time we end up embarrassing ourselves at how loud we are. But to be honest, the world fades away while I am around my girls and to although most people might find us annoying, we truly couldn't give a hoot. We are off on an adventure this weekend but I digress.

I have fantastic job, an amazing boss and I am learning more and more as I go ... I was meant for radio and I am so glad that although I went away from it for a while I am back to a place where I know I can excel. As for the man that I love, well he is just every girl's dream. He's caring, funny, sensitive and the most generous man who spoils me and makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

With everything going right in my life, I was expecting something to go wrong. I was anticipating the bad because I didn't feel worthy of all the things I had inherited in my life. (I use the term "things" but what I really mean is treasures) I was so used to having drama, pain and hurt in my life that once it was gone, I simply couldn't accept it. It had become such a staple in my life, almost a crutch or a handicap to make excuses for why I couldn't move forward in my life that after a while I had grown to expect it and even miss it once it was gone. I am so content in fact that I have grown fat from it.... again another story that I will share at a later date.

I have learnt that I am enough and that I can expect for more great things to happen in my life and this my friends, is merely the beginning. But no one had verbalised it as eloquently than Oprah. So now, she's on my Flipboard (Ipad App- absolutely amazing, by the way!) and I visit her everyday, another good friend I have met on my journey of self discovery ( a bit late I know, but I don't find her preachy anymore) Maybe, I am getting older(what I mean to say is wiser)... OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) is filled with programmes that motivate and inspire you. So now instead of stewing in the negative I reach for the positive and expect more for me and my life.