It's been a while but I am back

I know its been a while but now that I have some time to breathe its nice to blog cause you want to and not because you have to... So Christmas holidays were nice, got to spend time with the fam but let me keep you up to speed on what's bee.n happening on the love front, so you know I recently manage to catch another unsuspecting man to be my mate and his name is Leon. I have to say that he has gone way beyond the call of duty of a boyfriend to make me feel loved and help me through some really tough times

That's him, he doesn't like taking pictures for some reason...I think he has the cutest smile.

Besides that, a lot of my friends got married this year and I got to be apart of it, which I have to say I was honoured to be apart of but here some scandal for you I was seen with another handsome gentleman that stole my heart....

That's him! Triston, my best mate, Cynthia's son!! He is so sweet and I am not going to lie, he has stolen my heart

So if I wasn't working I was attending / emceeing weddings and I always had my trustee girls that I could blow off some steam with

That's my girls!! And honestly, this is us when we are well-behaved. We are all a little nutsos and that's why we all get along so well!

As I approach the end of the year, I usually take stock of all I have done and what I am looking foward to do. I haven't spent time with a real close friend of mine and that is something I am definitely going to start doing. Her name is Shareena and she has been one of the best friends a girl could ask for, I am looking forward to seeing her soon cause its just been too long since we have done one of these.......

Shareena and I in Cambodia

So 2011 is about quality of life and what I want out of it and not it out of me.

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH A NICE GUY

It’s easy to leave someone who hasn’t treated you well: You give them

a piece of your mind and then say goodbye. But what if you find
yourself in a relationship with a “nice guy”? He’s kind, sensitive,
not a game-player or emotionally manipulative, but he just doesn’t “do
it” for you.

Perhaps you’ve decided you’re more into “bad boys,” or maybe you’re
just bored, but for whatever reason you want to get out of the
relationship. Breaking up with a nice guy takes a little more
finesse.

The traditional advice holds true: A telephone call generally isn’t
appropriate (unless it’s long-distance, or other circumstances demand
it). An email isn’t any nicer, and a text message is inexcusable. The
only nice way is in person.

Arrange a time to see him so that you can tell him how you feel. Once
you’re together, it’s best to say what’s on your mind sooner rather
than later. You don’t want to have to fake your feelings or pretend
that everything is OK.

There’s no easy way to let him know. The words you’ll say will depend
on the exact reason you want to leave, but let him know that he
deserves someone who wants to be with him with all her heart…but right
now that person isn’t you.

This may be difficult for him to hear. On the other hand, he may have
felt the same, but because he is a nice guy, he didn’t have the heart
to tell you. If you’re really lucky, he’ll be relieved, and you can
relax and start on a journey towards “just-friendship.”

Of course, he may be crushed and feel horrible. Tell him how sorry you
are to cause him any pain. If he tells you how much he loves you, ask
him if he would be happy with someone who didn’t love him equally. The
only reasonable answer is “no.”

Most nice guys are great, but for others it’s just a mask behind which
they can manipulate people. Watch out for emotional manipulation:
attempts to elicit pity, accusations of cruelty and selfishness, or
other similar behavior. You can cut him some slack because of his
pain, but be careful of taking him back out of sympathy.

If you’re overcome with guilt, relax: We all sign up for the
possibility of heartbreak when we enter a relationship. You owe him
your honesty, compassion and kindness. You don’t owe him another
chance, sex, or anything else that you don’t want.

Finally, remember to be cautious about pursuing a friendship – give
him a proper amount of time to recover (which will vary depending on
the length of the relationship). Here’s a good test: If you think
he’d feel bad when hearing about your new boyfriend, you shouldn’t be
friends.

Happy Birthday Hard Rock!

So I know it was quite some time ago but I am a little upset with myself for not telling you how much fun I had Hard Rock's 1st anniversary party.... The bands were simply, the crowd was beautiful and the food and drink .... was just i unspeakably good. I wish I could bring every one of you for Hard Rock parties because I simply have the best time there. Thank you to Tommy Ong and Elisa for having us. I have to say I haven't seen a party that well organised in a while. But enough talk ...a picture paint a thousand words, so here are some photos of the fun we had

At the press briefing before the event

My favourite band; Bongga Bongga. They are so good and great guys

Fire-breathing by the beach... great bondfires there throughout the night too

Pizza tossing acrobatics, it was amazing!!

Look how beautiful the tent was and the amount of people!!

That was the 1st Anniversary birthday cake, it had to be cut with a chainsaw!!

The french Bono, his record sales in France have not been broken even to this date. I got to find out why first hand, this man is simply musical genius!

Tommy and I having a blast!

Tommy and I doing a Terry (The next time you see Terry from the Red Drive dance, look at his face...it's that exact same pout ;) Tommy does it better!)

Everyone was in the mood to part-a-y!!

Not a very good picture but the fireworks were amazing!

Wilfred Owen

A picture of the poet - Wilfred Owen

You know being an English lit major in I got to indulge in poetry and Emily Dickinson was a favourite among my many female English Lit. friends, but of course yours truly, needed some blood and gore and a bit more drama....always more drama. In fact, that should be my motto. Anyway, in looking at the many great poets of all time, I stumbled on a British poet who was also a soldier in the first world war. His poems are often, gruesome and grey but they are powerful and very emotional pieces. Although I think it is unjust to categorise his poetry, he is often known as a war poet... His poetry moved me as a teenager and continues to be a great source of inspiration for me in my life. Since I felt such a connection to him, I wanted to share on of my favourite poems with you....





Greater Love





Red lips are not so red


As the stained stones kissed by the English dead.


Kindness of wooed and wooerSeems shame to their love pure.


O Love, your eyes lose lureWhen I behold eyes blinded in my stead!


Your slender attitudeTrembles not exquisite like limbs knife-skewed,


Rolling and rolling thereWhere God seems not to care:


Till the fierce love they bearCramps them in death’s extreme decrepitude.


Your voice sings not so soft,—


Though even as wind murmuring through raftered loft,—


Your dear voice is not dear,


Gentle, and evening clear,


As theirs whom none now hear,


Now earth has stopped their piteous mouths that coughed.


Heart, you were never hot


Nor large, nor full like hearts made great with shot;


And though your hand be pale,


Paler are all which trail


Your cross through flame and hail:


Weep, you may weep, for you may touch them not.





-Wilfred Owen-

Too much?

I have to say I love what I do, so when it comes to my carrier sometimes I get slightly carried away working. Okay, I am a workaholic, I have no qualms working mornin, noon and night. In fact, I welcome it, that way I really feel like I have deserved my weekend. However, in the process of doing this, I have lost friends and the closeness that I used to share with my family. I know that I should make time, and I think I do within reason but lately the voice of reason in my life ie. my bf has been telling me to relook at the way I do things. "How long are you going to keep doing this? You mean, you are going to keep this up all your life?" "I don't think I can," was my reply. But while I am still young I feel now is the time to do all that I can do. You see I feel that I am very well-adjusted. When I was in school I was very involved in the theatre and the like so besides the usual education that you get out of your primary and secodary school, I also learnt confidence and how to express myself. In college, I worked and studied for most of it and managed to graduate with good grades. I made the most of the experience while I was away from my parents and took baby steps in learning how to be a full-blown adult. Now that I am one, I feel the need to work hard and take care of the people that I love. I have always been doing more than what is expected and I have been pretty successful so far, so I really don't see what is wrong with that? But just because that is what I am used to, should I continue doing it or should i take more time to stop and smell the roses? What do you think?

Cashing in on Your Misfortune: Turn Your Frown Upside Down

Some people have a knack for making lemonade out of lemons, taking a rainy cloud and turning it into profit, fame and fortune. If I could do that, I would be a trillionaire. But somehow I fail to see how my uncle’s recent passing or my mum falling ill somewhat of a cash cow. One thing is for sure, misery loves company that would explain why most people who are unhappy would usually, very readily share their rainy cloud with you. I digress, sharing your misfortune with others help them cope with theirs.

Recently I wrote about Eat, Pray Love…I seemed to have missed the point completely. Although I wasn’t particularly impressed with the book and the movie is supposedly even worst. Here is a woman who has turned her divorce, a crippling experience for most into a New York Times Bestseller. She has turned her inability to hang on to a union made before God and man and turned into an adventure to foreign countries, sampling food, spirituality and romance. She didn’t sit around mope and cry over her spilt milk, she made it into a Hollywood hit! So now I look at Elizabeth Gilbert through new eyes. I heard of a man here in Malaysia, who was so moved by the tsunami that hit Asia in 2004 that he traveled to all the countries hit by the raging waters and made a moving documentary of the people and their lives after the storm. He is now immortalized in the hearts of the people that he encountered and the people that he has touched through his film. While another radio personality who survived the tsunami in Sri Lanka and went back a year later to help the people there. She looks at life in a way that most people could only dream about, she is fearless.

So what have I learned about life’s tragedy, that some people handle it much better than others. Some people can cash in on it while other grabs life by the horns…make it almost seem silly for all that crying fussing now but I am gonna try it…the next time something bad happens… I am gonna turn it around…How? You will just have to wait and see.

Sticks and Stones Will Break Your Bones & Words WILL Hurt You

Whoever came up with the term “sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you.”….LIED!! I have grown to realize how hurtful words can be. I never thought that they could be that damaging but sometimes a rash and rude word can change the way someone looks at you for the rest of your life. Don’t get me wrong this is not some preachy blog about how we should all be nice and get along but a recent realization that nothing good comes from saying something bad. This problem is particularly bad for me cause I have rage issues. In my younger years, I have surpressed a lot of hurt and anger and only recently did I start dealing with it. A friend helped me with NLP and that has worked for the most part but every now and again it rears its ugly head to come back and haunt me. So how do I make sure that I don’t lose my head the next time I have an argument with someone. Before I get into that, I wanted to find out where this anger stems from and I stumbled upon this finding:Where Angry Feelings Come From?University of Pittsburgh researchers found that anger and hostility in women could be caused by biological factors, such as an alteration in a serotonin receptor gene. Low serotonin levels can also lead to depression and obsessive compulsive tendencies -- and possibly even anxiety disorders.Now this fact makes me feel better, my anger is not a conscious decision but a chemical imbalance. This doesn’t mean I am not about to start drugging myself to diffuse my anger but it simply helps me accept the fact about me losing control a little better.Now that I understand the anger, all I have to do is….

1. Take a timeout from the person that I am angry with
2. Deep breaths and calm myself before I even utter a word
3. Write, I have always loved writing and this would be an interesting entry to my dairy ;)
4. When I do discuss the matter, use “I” words like “I feel” instead if “You did” and “You are” and “You always”
5. If possible use humor to diffuse the situation, but if not done correctly… this could backfire so I use step 5 with caution.

I never want to see the hurt I caused recently when my tongue went on a rampage after I had lost my cool. So I hope the Mayo Clinic knows what they’re talking about when it comes to Anger Management. I will let you know if it works…