Whoever came up with the term “sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you.”….LIED!! I have grown to realize how hurtful words can be. I never thought that they could be that damaging but sometimes a rash and rude word can change the way someone looks at you for the rest of your life. Don’t get me wrong this is not some preachy blog about how we should all be nice and get along but a recent realization that nothing good comes from saying something bad. This problem is particularly bad for me cause I have rage issues. In my younger years, I have surpressed a lot of hurt and anger and only recently did I start dealing with it. A friend helped me with NLP and that has worked for the most part but every now and again it rears its ugly head to come back and haunt me. So how do I make sure that I don’t lose my head the next time I have an argument with someone. Before I get into that, I wanted to find out where this anger stems from and I stumbled upon this finding:Where Angry Feelings Come From?University of Pittsburgh researchers found that anger and hostility in women could be caused by biological factors, such as an alteration in a serotonin receptor gene. Low serotonin levels can also lead to depression and obsessive compulsive tendencies -- and possibly even anxiety disorders.Now this fact makes me feel better, my anger is not a conscious decision but a chemical imbalance. This doesn’t mean I am not about to start drugging myself to diffuse my anger but it simply helps me accept the fact about me losing control a little better.Now that I understand the anger, all I have to do is….
1. Take a timeout from the person that I am angry with
2. Deep breaths and calm myself before I even utter a word
3. Write, I have always loved writing and this would be an interesting entry to my dairy ;)
4. When I do discuss the matter, use “I” words like “I feel” instead if “You did” and “You are” and “You always”
5. If possible use humor to diffuse the situation, but if not done correctly… this could backfire so I use step 5 with caution.
I never want to see the hurt I caused recently when my tongue went on a rampage after I had lost my cool. So I hope the Mayo Clinic knows what they’re talking about when it comes to Anger Management. I will let you know if it works…
Anybody can become angry - that is easy;but to be angry with the right person,and to the right degree,and at the right time...that is not within everybody's power and it is not easy.Anger is usually "triggered" by an occurrence,like stubbing your toe on an inanimate object or by something that someone says.
ReplyDeleteNext,you think something like,"what did I do to deserve that." However,at this point,emotion takes over your mind and the "pain" of the situation leads you to believe the answer to your question is "Nothing.I didn't deserve that at all!"Feelings of hurt and betrayal further try to override logic and you're ready to act on your anger by either suppressing it or expressing it...
I used to perceive that everything that comes out of the mouth of another person is true,but to an innate sense,at most times there are not true...These are blurted out due to inability to absorb the scene.Always take your time to think for a while,take heaps of breath or sigh,you may never know suddenly the whole things seem minor.
Nothing to grieve or hieve..nothing to weap or brew...nonsensical, it is just a quacky joke!Sticks and stones will break your bones and Words will hurt you.. but remember,you are beautiful in every way,Just the Way You Are!!!Wisdom has its way!!