Instead of Stewing in the Negative REACH for the Postive

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes" -Mahatma Gandhi

Lately I hardly watch TV... Even if I am sitting in front of TV my mind is switched off or wandering somewhere else. I am starting to worry about myself, seems like hardly anything holds my attention anymore. I have been on an amazing journey where my senses and thoughts have been overwhelmed and the entire knowledge of my existence has been challenged. I live by new rules and seek knowledge beyond the understanding of most. So after going through all that, everything else seems trivial, boring and mundane.

But on Sunday I came home after a long day of visiting friends and family and one TV show caught my attention. It was Oprah's last show. I had some friends who said that I should watch it but I never did. To be honest, I thought that Oprah came off as a bit preachy. But this show was a wow moment for me. (or by Oprah standards would have constituted as an AHA! moment) She said something that resounded in my soul, she mentioned that through her 25 years of doing the show she had seen a general theme that ran through people. They felt that they weren't enough, they didn't feel that they were good enough for the blessings that they have received. They don't feel like they deserve all the good things that came their way. She said that most people were self-defeating.

This has been especially true in my life. Let me tell you about my life right now, I am in a job that I love. I am with the man that I love and I surround myself with the people that I love. I have the best girlfriends in the world that literally make me laugh out loud. Most of the time we end up embarrassing ourselves at how loud we are. But to be honest, the world fades away while I am around my girls and to although most people might find us annoying, we truly couldn't give a hoot. We are off on an adventure this weekend but I digress.

I have fantastic job, an amazing boss and I am learning more and more as I go ... I was meant for radio and I am so glad that although I went away from it for a while I am back to a place where I know I can excel. As for the man that I love, well he is just every girl's dream. He's caring, funny, sensitive and the most generous man who spoils me and makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

With everything going right in my life, I was expecting something to go wrong. I was anticipating the bad because I didn't feel worthy of all the things I had inherited in my life. (I use the term "things" but what I really mean is treasures) I was so used to having drama, pain and hurt in my life that once it was gone, I simply couldn't accept it. It had become such a staple in my life, almost a crutch or a handicap to make excuses for why I couldn't move forward in my life that after a while I had grown to expect it and even miss it once it was gone. I am so content in fact that I have grown fat from it.... again another story that I will share at a later date.

I have learnt that I am enough and that I can expect for more great things to happen in my life and this my friends, is merely the beginning. But no one had verbalised it as eloquently than Oprah. So now, she's on my Flipboard (Ipad App- absolutely amazing, by the way!) and I visit her everyday, another good friend I have met on my journey of self discovery ( a bit late I know, but I don't find her preachy anymore) Maybe, I am getting older(what I mean to say is wiser)... OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) is filled with programmes that motivate and inspire you. So now instead of stewing in the negative I reach for the positive and expect more for me and my life.